Despite Totally Real, 100% Definitely Occurring Climate Crisis, Trudeau Government Celebrates New Bridge That Facilitates Planet-Destroying Vehicle Travel

The new Samuel de Champlain bridge will surely accelerate the total destruction of our planet and the extinction of the human race.

With Canada facing a brutal and horrific climate crisis that is undoubtedly taking place even as you read these words, the Trudeau Liberal Government is strangely celebrating a new bridge in Montreal.

The $4.5 billion bridge is 3.4 kilometers in length, and received substantial funding from the federal government, in addition to funding from other levels of government. It was approved under the Harper Government.

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, who bravely ventured out to the Raptors Parade during the vote declaring the climate crisis was occurring, visited the bridge, seemingly oblivious to the role he has played in dooming us all.

The bridge features space for three lanes of vehicle traffic in both directions. It also includes a section that can be used for an upcoming train expansion.

Unfortunately, the new bridge will consign us to our fate even sooner than expected, as the increased vehicle traffic, and increased incentive for using gas-powered vehicles may prove to be the global tipping point that sends our planet into total and irreversible destruction.

By funding the project, Justin Trudeau and the Liberal government may even be complicit in an upcoming ‘genocide’ of the Canadian People, as something as serious as a ‘climate crisis’ will certainly result in hundreds of millions, if not many billions of deaths as our planet collapses and becomes unlivable at a rapid pace.

Thankfully, the Trudeau government has shown some acknowledgement of the 100% really and totally occurring crisis that we face, as weather minister Catherine McKenna has declared* that upcoming toll revenue will be used to fund a gigantic underground shelter capable of holding 50,000 climate crisis survivors in order to populate the human race after the disaster cuts through the human population like a scythe.

Spencer Fernando

Photo – Twitter

*satire – not a real quote (though with McKenna it’s tough to tell at this point)


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